Good Life Archives

December 29, 2023January 2, 2024

Hedonic Treadmill and the Chemical Orchestra

A few days back I read a nice response by a Redditor called “ExRousseauScholar” to the question “Is the hedonic treadmill actually real?”

If you are not familar with the word “hedonic”, you may recognize it is related to hedonism – in short “hedonic” refers to the pursuit of pleasure and enjoyment.

The “Hedonic Treadmill” is the tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes. In other words we all have a set-point that means happy people tend to be happy and grumpy people tend to be, well, disgruntled. For example, someone I know excitedly told his therapist, “I just sold my startup for a lot of money! I’m going to be set for life!” The therapist replied, “That’s great news! I look forward to seeing you next week at our regular session time.” (**boom-tish**)

Anyway the response in the Reddit thread made the following recommendations to not losing your happiness. This reminded me of an earlier post here on “Living a good life” but the author makes it a little more “science-ey”.

Don’t be high in trait neuroticism (this is the most important thing, out of the entire list);
Do be high in all the other Big Five personality traits (that is, be agreeable, extraverted, conscientious, and open to experience);
Find a good romantic relationship;
Have good friends (quality over quantity; 3 and 4 might be better summarised as “have good relationships with people,” but 3 is pretty important in and of itself);
Be healthy;
Don’t be starving and poor in the absolute sense;
Have a job that you actually like and matters (what a surprise, where you spend eight hours a day, five days a week makes a difference!);
Have a leisure activity that you enjoy, especially one that connects you to other people (see 3 and 4).

That was a pretty great list and other people asked ExRousseauScholar to provide suggestions how to change #1 and #2.

But I feel there is a lot of significance to #8 being connected to other people (#3 and #4) – particularly if your leisure activities have “meaning” as we discussed in the “Living Deliberately” –> “Connect with a greater purpose” section of our “Good Life” post . Things are always better with a shared purpose and a few good mates.

ExRousseauScholar’s advice tended towards supplements and drugs. This is fine, but a very modern antidote that is by definition a product of a capitalist culture – and ironically subject to the same mechanisms as the Reddit topic of “Hedonic Treadmill” (chasing the dragon).

I’m always amazed that opinions miss the point that psychology and psychiatric disciplines have been around for about 150 years but Homo Sapiens has existed for 300,000 years ago and somehow coped without Freud or even Joseph Goldstein.

So our (us Home Sapiens) experience of the Hedonic Treadmill pre-dates the labelling provided by the psychologists by 299,850 years, but that doesn’t make it any less “real”.

Is it just psychology or can it include other things like our body chemistry?

Anyone that drinks coffee knows that chemistry can affect happiness and A LOT of that chemistry can also make you edgy.

BUT – What if the key to lasting happiness wasn’t in external pursuits or chemicals, but in understanding the internal orchestra of chemicals conducting our moods?

So in a similar ironic way I get all atomistic and look a the chemicals that tweak our experience of happiness. For a few years I have had a piece of paper above my desk that summarises the role of these chemicals. I tried to find the source of where I got it but found there are hundreds exactly like it – take a look at this search!

Based on our modern understanding of the chemicals that operate inside our body – here is a bit of science and some suggestions.

Meet the chemical quartet: dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins.

These neurotransmitters** act like musical notes, playing a symphony within our brains.

Dopamine drives our desire and ambition, oxytocin fuels love and connection, serotonin governs mood and well-being, and endorphins offer natural pain relief and euphoria. The dance between these chemicals determines whether we’re sprinting on the hedonic treadmill or basking in a state of genuine contentment.

So, how do we optimize this internal orchestra? Here are some practices to harmonize your chemical symphony:

Dopamine Dance:

Small Wins, Big Joys: Celebrate the little victories! Completing a task, learning a new skill, or even savoring a delicious meal triggers dopamine, building momentum for bigger goals.
Novelty Nibbles: Introduce controlled novelty into your routine. Take a new route to work, try a different recipe, or explore a hidden corner of your city. Dopamine craves the unexpected, but remember, too much novelty can be overwhelming.

Oxytocin Embrace:

Connect and Belong: Oxytocin thrives on social interaction. Spend time with loved ones, volunteer in your community, or join a club. Strong bonds and meaningful connections are your oxytocin fuel.
Acts of Kindness: Random acts of kindness, from a simple smile to a helping hand, trigger oxytocin in both the giver and receiver. Spread the love and watch your happiness bloom.

Serotonin Serenade:

Sunlight Soaks: Bask in the morning sun to boost serotonin production. Even a short walk outside can make a difference.
Move Your Body: Exercise is a potent serotonin trigger. Find an activity you enjoy, whether it’s dancing, swimming, or brisk walking. Your body and mind will thank you.

Endorphin Euphoria:

Challenge Yourself: Step outside your comfort zone and embrace healthy challenges. Learning a new skill, mastering a difficult task, or even overcoming a small fear releases endorphins, leaving you feeling empowered and joyful.
Laughter is the Best Medicine: Find humor in everyday life, watch a funny movie, or share a good laugh with friends. Laughter is a powerful endorphin booster, and it’s contagious!

Being mindful (by simple aware observation, not reading about it in blog posts or books) of how external substances or interactions can affect your internal state (and chemicals).

Hedonic hacking might be useful or pleasurable in our day-to-day living but actual experiencing the truth that some habits keep me on a treadmill might be replaced by a “Living Deliberately” change of behaviour. Some of the suggested activities above might be tools to substitute for a treadmill habit. Knowing and feeling and nurturing the orchestra (or at least a quartet!) that are at work internally (and also in my friends, colleagues and people I find challenging) may be create a symphony of lasting contentment rather than hedonic hits.

May all sentient beings be freed from suffering.

** Neurotransmitters are chemical messengers that enable communication between nerve cells (neurons). Specifically, neurotransmitters are chemicals that are released from the axon terminal of one neuron and bind to and activate receptors on another neuron.

May 15, 2021April 29, 2023

Xingming

A local tai-chi teacher^** has a wonderful statement on their website that is illustrative of embodied practice.

XingMing(性命)

Xing ( mind ) is psychology and Ming ( body ) is physiology.

Taoism’s way of nurturing life called ” Xing Ming Shuang Xiu ” means look after both ( mind & body ).

In cultivating Xing ( mind ) the emphasis is on training spirit, making spirit detach from the myriad things, a kindhearted clear mind.

In cultivating Ming ( body ) the emphasis is on cultivating energy, developing life’s potential, enriching life’s energy.

The two mutually act and mutually produce; refining essence to transform into energy; refining energy to transform into spirit; draw the spirit within to achieve stillness.

This delicate balance reminded me of some western unbundling work being undertaken by John Vervaeke and really interesting people in his orbit like Rafe Kelley.

For John, he has spent many years in philosophy and is navigating towards the centre from the intellectual side – many people experiencing John’s work dismiss it as too intellectual – which strikes me as laziness because John has synthesized some of the best spiritual output from humanity (with a western bias). John’s youtube magnum opus (“Awakening from the Meaning Crisis”) is worth investing time on – a mere 50 hours to undertake if the spirit is willing. 😇

Part of the project and community around him are (or were) exploring the Religion that is not a Religion (RTNAR). Which is an attempt to rebuild the valuable elements of organised religion (perhaps agreeing with Peterson’s assertion that they are super-successful memes) without dogmatic baggage. (I wrote a little in the Meaning).

Rafe Kelley approaches the middle-way from the extreme physical end of the spectrum. He was a BIG parkour athlete.

His physical practice is deeply meaningful when approached with a mindful underpinning. His community and method https://www.evolvemoveplay.com/ connects with nature and the healing forces when you are awake enough in the “present moment”.

These two apparent extremes are approaching a centre that is embodied in the meaning of XingMing(性命). As usual the western way is to take the longest way around possible.

Too much mind brings: dogma, blind faith, intellectualism, disconnected from reality, using ideas as a possession for the ego.

Too much body brings: materialism, narcissism, boring conversations, stunted progress.

When you were a kid did you ever play the seesaw game where you would edge toward each other?

Each taking a micro-step to get closer without losing balance and teetering off?

This is why I love balance. As a Libran it makes perfect sense that balance is central to everyday. The Taoist statement above captures the simplicity of this balance. Buddhism uses the term “the middle way”.

** credit: http://www.carolinestaichi.com/news–events

October 2, 2020May 30, 2021

Acknowledge daily wins

“If it’s not big it doesn’t count”. Do you think like that? Do you dismiss the hundreds of small accomplishments that you manage to complete every single day? Perhaps the simplest and most classic of these daily small accomplishments is to make your bed.

Make your bed

Tim Ferriss popularised this notion with his 5 Morning Rituals That Help You ‘Win the Day’. It’s the same notion that Navy SEAL commander Admiral William H. McRaven also earlier spoke of in a 2014 commencement speech he gave to students at the University of Texas. He includes this as one of his ten small things in his book, Make Your Bed: Small Things That Can Change Your Life … and Maybe the World.*

Today my mother-in-law was coming to stay for a few days, so there were some things that needed doing in preparation. Each one small but essential to making her stay comfortable and her room inviting. The beautiful spring weather had suddenly turned chilly and so the bedding needed to be warm and layered with plenty of options. And I hung a soft pink warm gown nearby, just in case.

She is an ex-florist, so I knew a vase of fresh flowers would be appreciated. I wandered through the garden to gather what was in flower – an eclectic posy formed of lavender, bottlebrush, fressias and seaside daisies which I placed in a cutglass rose bowl my own mother had given me when she started to pass on her treasures several years ago. She’s still going strong at almost 99!

Simple joys

Both small tasks were simple and enjoyable in the doing and in the finishing. The wander through the garden was a sensory meditation, the eyes being drawn to the colours of the flowers in bloom and the freshness of them, the hand’s awareness of the foliage when touched and then the fragrance emitted. And all the while an appreciation of where to cut each stem to create the final posy. The simple being in “the doing”. It was such a simple joy and adds to the meaning of the day, it’s an essential part of a good life.

Every day is filled with mostly unrecognised completions and wins. To stop and take the time to see these and acknowledge their value in your life brings satisfaction and just a little more joy.

Celebrate or Acknowledge?

Quite often the advice is to “Celebrate the wins”. In 2020, “celebrate” usually means a rowdy occasion mixed with alcohol and a few speeches. But the origins** are different:
from Latin celebratus – much-frequented, kept solemn, famous; past participle of celebrare – assemble to honor, commemorate or honor with demonstrations of joy

So “honour daily wins” could hint at the true presence we find when we are “in the moment” and “aware of being in the moment” so that joy emerges. It points to “honour daily moments” as the place where magic happens.

A little bit of science

And scientifically we know why acknowledging wins is a good thing. Jonathan Cawte writes: “Dopamine is the achievement hormone; it makes sure we get to the goal. Dopamine narrows our focus and responds strongly to visual cues. Each time we see the goal we get a hit of dopamine. As we get closer to the goal the dose increases until we are rewarded with a mega dose on its achievement.”

We need to see our goals, write them down, just as we need to acknowledge our wins – write them down, acknowledge them in a visual way, journal them. “Without a visual cue there is no dopamine,” Jonathan Cawte states.

We need to be careful that whilst goals are useful, they may crowd-out the simple joy of doing. Goals are very “left-brain” and will take control if allowed – this is one big driver in the western workplace.

For example, it’s understood that dopamine can actually make us addicted to checking things off our lists because it makes us feel good physiologically! As with everything there can be a downside. If you find yourself adding items to your list just so you can tick them off, then step away from the list!

In contrast, we want to be in “serious play” – a skillful balance of right-brain and left brain contributions, not be all one-side or the other.

*Make Your Bed: Small Things That Can Change Your Life … and Maybe the World
by William H. McRaven ISBN:9781405934466, 1405934468 Published:15 June 2017

** https://www.etymonline.com/word/celebrate

September 26, 2020May 30, 2021

Take Care

Often when we wish someone good-bye – we say “take care”. Like most language habits it’s trotted out unconsciously, just part of the sleep state we spend most of our time in.

But is it worth pondering what “take care” might mean in your day? What would it be like to approach things with care? Not so seriously to crowd-out a care-free demeanor, but…

This morning I finished a yoga session and had allowed it to be more than physical – there was more space induced by the breath, postures and released endorphins. The wind is blowing a gale today – I stepped toward the window to close it.

I’m pretty good at closing windows, done it thousands of times. So my hand grasped the window unconsciously and automatically and started to slide it shut.

Blown by gusts inside the window there were small end branches of a bush (planted outside the window). I could have easily crushed them in closing the window. Luckily* there was enough space in me to see the branches and STOP.

Still, mostly automatic, I reached to carefully moved a branch outside the window. Then everything changed – in the caring touch, I saw the scene for the first time.

I really could see it.

For the first time I watched these branches – they were flashing and sparking with the morning light as the gusts jostled them around. The tints of green, the veins of growth rippling through the leaves and the sturdy and the willowy resilience of the end stems of the branch. And the truth was there of why branches bend in a gusty wind.

It was over in a few seconds, but it was a privilege to have taken enough care with the branches to be gifted that experience in return.

So it seems that “taking care” is a great example of “give and you shall receive”**.

* The yoga had made my own luck.

** I’m not invoking Christianity with this quote, just the naturalistic experience seems to match the words.

Note: I owe:

a) both “take care” and “make your own luck” to Henryk, who I have posted about previously.

b) STOP to my teacher Ron. This is the first part of the “Stop, Breath, Stillness, Balance” practice.

September 23, 2020May 30, 2021

Living a good life

We all drift… sometimes an hour is lost scrolling (more on that another time). Sometimes for weeks or years.

Pam recently read Julia Baird’s book Phosphorescence*. One of the key themes that resonated with Pam was “Living deliberately” – it seems a sure antidote to “drift”.

Julia Baird is a political journalist and presenter in Australia and Phosphorescence has been read by several women in my life – it’s apparently a journey worth taking.

When I looked Julia up, she is the daughter of highly regarded state politician Bruce Baird and sister of Mike Baird who became Premier in NSW. Julia, aside from writing, co-hosts a political affairs show on the ABC, so this family are full of public service and lives very deliberately.

Discussing “Living deliberately” (over toast), we brainstormed what that might mean. We came up with:

2 big dimensions: Personal (self) and World (others)
Combined with:
- WHATS (principles of “living deliberately”)
- HOWS (tools, rhythms and skills)
- NOURISHMENT (things that bring joy and recharge your resources)

Above is one visualisation. We also thought “Living well” or “Living a good life” might have a little more balance than just the mental fortitude of “living deliberately”. It’s far from perfect but it might be a useful reminder for us and others.

Drop us a note if you think we’ve missed something or could make it better.

We’ll write a few blog posts on some of the sections – any idea which should be first? 🤷‍♂️

Below is another visualisation of the same content.

* Phosphorescence: On Awe, Wonder & the Things that Sustain You When the World Goes Dark (HarperCollins)