Take Care

Often when we wish someone good-bye – we say “take care”. Like most language habits it’s trotted out unconsciously, just part of the sleep state we spend most of our time in.

But is it worth pondering what “take care” might mean in your day? What would it be like to approach things with care? Not so seriously to crowd-out a care-free demeanor, but…

This morning I finished a yoga session and had allowed it to be more than physical – there was more space induced by the breath, postures and released endorphins. The wind is blowing a gale today – I stepped toward the window to close it.

I’m pretty good at closing windows, done it thousands of times. So my hand grasped the window unconsciously and automatically and started to slide it shut.

Blown by gusts inside the window there were small end branches of a bush (planted outside the window). I could have easily crushed them in closing the window. Luckily* there was enough space in me to see the branches and STOP.

Still, mostly automatic, I reached to carefully moved a branch outside the window. Then everything changed – in the caring touch, I saw the scene for the first time.

I really could see it.

For the first time I watched these branches – they were flashing and sparking with the morning light as the gusts jostled them around. The tints of green, the veins of growth rippling through the leaves and the sturdy and the willowy resilience of the end stems of the branch. And the truth was there of why branches bend in a gusty wind.

It was over in a few seconds, but it was a privilege to have taken enough care with the branches to be gifted that experience in return.

So it seems that “taking care” is a great example of “give and you shall receive”**.


* The yoga had made my own luck.

** I’m not invoking Christianity with this quote, just the naturalistic experience seems to match the words.

Note: I owe:

a) both “take care” and “make your own luck” to Henryk, who I have posted about previously.

b) STOP to my teacher Ron. This is the first part of the “Stop, Breath, Stillness, Balance” practice.

Living a good life

We all drift… sometimes an hour is lost scrolling (more on that another time). Sometimes for weeks or years.

Pam recently read Julia Baird’s book Phosphorescence*.  One of the key themes that resonated with Pam was “Living deliberately” – it seems a sure antidote to “drift”.

Julia Baird is a political journalist and presenter in Australia and Phosphorescence has been read by several women in my life – it’s apparently a journey worth taking.

When I looked Julia up, she is the daughter of highly regarded state politician Bruce Baird and sister of Mike Baird who became Premier in NSW. Julia, aside from writing, co-hosts a political affairs show on the ABC, so this family are full of public service and lives very deliberately.

Discussing “Living deliberately” (over toast), we brainstormed what that might mean. We came up with:

  • 2 big dimensions: Personal (self) and World (others)
  • Combined with:
    • WHATS (principles of “living deliberately”)
    • HOWS (tools, rhythms and skills)
    • NOURISHMENT (things that bring joy and recharge your resources)

Above is one visualisation. We also thought “Living well” or “Living a good life” might have a little more balance than just the mental fortitude of “living deliberately”. It’s far from perfect but it might be a useful reminder for us and others. 

Drop us a note if you think we’ve missed something or could make it better.

We’ll write a few blog posts on some of the sections – any idea which should be first? 🤷‍♂️

Below is another visualisation of the same content.

* Phosphorescence: On Awe, Wonder & the Things that Sustain You When the World Goes Dark (HarperCollins)

Then the man (or woman) ain’t bright

One of my teachers was a man called Henryk who had worked in building, carpentry and eventually used to run gangs of council workers in the 70’s and 80’s. In those days it was an open secret that some council jobs were a haven of bludging, side projects, day disappearances – the kind of low level corruption from a more socialist time.

Henryk wasn’t that kind of guy – he was straight as a die – son of German mother and Polish father, clear-eyed, lean, a blend of discipline, temperance and stillness – with a bit of opera thrown in.

I worked with Henryk on a large building project and his work was fast, no bullshit and precise – one morning I was struggling with sawing some timber, splintering the edge as I went. Henryk reached in and drew the saw from my hand and handed me another. Whilst doing so, his lips parted into a wry smile, saying:

“If the tool ain’t right, then the man ain’t bright.”

His quip cut through better than any saw. 

The lesson for me was to pay attention to what I was doing. To be “bright” and be awake to the possibilities of a better way. In each situation: dropping habits or pre-conceptions can mean that there may be a better way to do the work….

“is this the right shade of pencil in a drawing?”, “could a better brush be selected?”. The questions not arising in words but just the feel of “fitted-ness” to the needs of the moment.

Humans are problem solving “machines”** and creators, to be cognitively present and find the right “fit” for a particular job infuses meaning into your day and life.

The opposite of this is “square peg in a round hole”.  If you’ve ever felt like that, it’s an awkward dissonance – a feeling of being “un-fitted” to the situation. This too is super-helpful and constructive because something in us wants to seek the fit and flow – the discomfort is a signal*** for needed change.

Another interesting part of the quip is the double meaning of “bright” – language is so often pregnant with depth – to be “bright” is to be light-filled – that’s another clue to the recipe (or perhaps outcome) of being “in this moment”.

** please forgive the use of such a term. There is no intention to reduce humans to machines, but some part operates below the surface with an intelligence that uses senses and feedback that could be considered a very fine mechanistic process.

Consider simply “picking up a cup”, the fitted-ness of the cup and how my hand wraps around the handle, whilst (mostly) unconscious is a beautiful flow of sense and response. To bring that into my awareness is a rich experience which should be covered in a seperate post!

*** tears, stress, anger are mostly considered inappropriate in social situations, so we don’t value (and often ostracise) these signals.